Lately I've been more serious than I'd prefer, so I'm going to start taking random shots at fighters I don't know. Is it fair? No, but neither is my ability to levitate. CHECK MATE!
Me: Matt Serra is the Human Crust Factory. Damn he sucks.
Serra Fan: Dude, he won the Ultimate Fighter.
Me: Dude, winning that Ultimate Fighter is like being the hottest fat girl.
SF: But he's the UFC welterweight champ! He beat GSP!
Me: No, he's the chump who got lucky and I still wake up at least once a week in a cold sweat after that one. Oh, and now Zuffa's going to make him seem like a good champ by letting him hold the belt for 9 months without defending. They're setting him up to be a matchstick champ.
SF: Dude, he's a BJJ black belt under the Gracies!
Me: Yes and he must have skipped the, "taking another fighter down" class and the, "don't get hit by the spinning back fist by the 60-year-old pimp, AGAIN" training seminar. Face it he sucks.
Serra Fan: Yeah, you're right and cunningly handsome.
Me: I know. By the way, did I leave my underwear at your sister's house?
Serra Fan: Which one?
Me: Both.
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